So You Have Cancer?
By Sharm Aboosally
A cancer survivor, who has undergone three operations and radiation treatment, wants you to know that a diagnosis of cancer is not the end of the world, that there is hope and there is so much that can be done. Most importantly, there is nothing to hide.
When it comes to cancer --lawyer, wife and mother, Mala Thalayasingam has been through the mill. Most importantly, she feels that something good can come out of her experiences if she can reach others. This is why she and her husband joined Mithuruwela, the newly formed cancer support network for patients and caregivers. Having been through it all, she wants to share her experience in the hope it will help people to detect, prevent and go through treatment more easily than she did.
“I want people to know the treatment may be harsh – but people have survived and so can you. You must be positive,” Mala says. “A diagnosis of cancer is not the end of the world – you need to handle it rationally and consider all options. It is not your karma. It’s not inevitable that you die. There is nothing to hide. There is so much of hope and there is so much that can be done.”
This is from a survivor of three surgeries, which removed both breasts and her ovaries, and radiation treatment.
Mala’s mother was about 65 years old when she was diagnosed with breast cancer but sadly, by then, the cancer had also spread to her lymph nodes. “She went for treatment and was OK for a year but then secondaries (or a recurrence of cancer) were diagnosed in her brain and bone. She needed blood transfusions, which were from the blood bank and from private hospitals, and one transfusion was infected with the Hepatitis B virus. My mother died soon after from complications.”
About three weeks after this, Mala’s mother-in-law died from ovarian cancer. She died three months from her first diagnosis.
“I also had lots of lumps in my breasts but I never did a mammogram. I never got around to it,” Mala remembers. “Then, one morning in January 1999, I got up and I found a lump which I knew was different. We had just taken my son to university in September and since then, I was feeling rotten and everyone put it down to that. But when I found this lump, I knew it was different.”
Lobula Carcinoma in situ was the diagnosis. “Because of what had happened to my mother and because I was the eldest in the family, my family were deeply distressed. My surgeon, who had treated my mother and was terrified of this happening to me, was insistent on an immediate mastectomy and my family, who were all distraught, were for the fastest solution.
“Only I did not want it as lobula carcinoma in situ is a localised cancer, where the tumour can be removed, and is usually a pre-condition to malignant cancer. I did not want a mastectomy but in the end, we went ahead.”
Treatment included radiation and strong drugs. Three months after the operation, a mammogram showed shadows in her other breast, which was interpreted as cancer cells, and Mala underwent another mastectomy. A biopsy came back negative for malignant cancer – a mistake may have been made but it was too late for Mala.
Later, a liver test and a bone scan showed changes and secondaries were suspected. However, when Mala took the same reports to the United Kingdom, doctors dismissed the bone scan as not secondaries but a by-product of the mastectomies she underwent and said her liver damage was drug related and not malignant cancer.
Now, Mala has stopped all treatment and gets on with her life. But she advocates strong awareness and positive action – which she feels can help women avoid what she went through.
“Cancer meant death to us then. In my situation, my history led to what I feel was an over reaction in the treatment that was prescribed by doctors and endorsed by my family. I underwent radical surgery, which I feel was not needed -- I could have retained my breasts and monitored the lumps instead. As a patient, recently diagnosed as cancer, I couldn’t stand up to the pressure – I didn’t know what I could do and it was very hard to resist. From the diagnosis to the first mastectomy was about two weeks and I just didn’t have time to think about things. Everyone was overwhelmed.”
Mala says that she didn’t know what her options were and if she had more awareness of breast cancer and treatment, she could have challenged her doctors. Information at the right time can help the patient in deciding on treatment and on coping with the disease and side effects of treatment. Her husband feels the same and says, that even if Mala was too over-whelmed, he would have demanded a more informed treatment, had he known what could have been done.
“We were also very fearful – we had seen what had happened to our mothers and what they went through. Waiting for the reports were the worst part of the experience,” they said.
As a result of her experience and surgery, Mala has stiffness in her shoulders and hands. She gets depressed, especially when she had to wear prostheses. “Sometimes when I look in the mirror I cry – but I also joke about it. I always have a nagging fear that there could be secondaries – if I have a pain anywhere, my fear returns. My husband jokes that if I never had a primary how could I have a secondary?”
I am grateful that I have had an extremely loving and supportive husband and family and our church and church group, said Mala. “Having these people is a form of counselling. It’s so important to have this support, or I don’t know how I could have carried on.”
Mala says that there is a stigma – she knows many people who hide the fact that there is cancer diagnosed, which can be most difficult for the patient. Many people leave it too late to go to a doctor. Some women, though educated even, are shy to acknowledge gynaecological or breast cancers. It’s a difficult subject for people to acknowledge or come out with.
Mala had a friend who had found a lump and did nothing about it until Mala took her to her doctor. Her doctor’s first response was, “Why did you leave it so late?”
“Thankfully my immediate family are extremely supportive and very open about it,” said Mala. “They refer to my experiences and have no problem talking about it. Neither do I – I feel that by doing so, I can make people more aware about what can happen and what you should be aware of. Most important is for a woman to be aware and have regular check-ups.
A cancer survivor, who has undergone three operations and radiation treatment, wants you to know that a diagnosis of cancer is not the end of the world, that there is hope and there is so much that can be done. Most importantly, there is nothing to hide.
When it comes to cancer --lawyer, wife and mother, Mala Thalayasingam has been through the mill. Most importantly, she feels that something good can come out of her experiences if she can reach others. This is why she and her husband joined Mithuruwela, the newly formed cancer support network for patients and caregivers. Having been through it all, she wants to share her experience in the hope it will help people to detect, prevent and go through treatment more easily than she did.
“I want people to know the treatment may be harsh – but people have survived and so can you. You must be positive,” Mala says. “A diagnosis of cancer is not the end of the world – you need to handle it rationally and consider all options. It is not your karma. It’s not inevitable that you die. There is nothing to hide. There is so much of hope and there is so much that can be done.”
This is from a survivor of three surgeries, which removed both breasts and her ovaries, and radiation treatment.
Mala’s mother was about 65 years old when she was diagnosed with breast cancer but sadly, by then, the cancer had also spread to her lymph nodes. “She went for treatment and was OK for a year but then secondaries (or a recurrence of cancer) were diagnosed in her brain and bone. She needed blood transfusions, which were from the blood bank and from private hospitals, and one transfusion was infected with the Hepatitis B virus. My mother died soon after from complications.”
About three weeks after this, Mala’s mother-in-law died from ovarian cancer. She died three months from her first diagnosis.
“I also had lots of lumps in my breasts but I never did a mammogram. I never got around to it,” Mala remembers. “Then, one morning in January 1999, I got up and I found a lump which I knew was different. We had just taken my son to university in September and since then, I was feeling rotten and everyone put it down to that. But when I found this lump, I knew it was different.”
Lobula Carcinoma in situ was the diagnosis. “Because of what had happened to my mother and because I was the eldest in the family, my family were deeply distressed. My surgeon, who had treated my mother and was terrified of this happening to me, was insistent on an immediate mastectomy and my family, who were all distraught, were for the fastest solution.
“Only I did not want it as lobula carcinoma in situ is a localised cancer, where the tumour can be removed, and is usually a pre-condition to malignant cancer. I did not want a mastectomy but in the end, we went ahead.”
Treatment included radiation and strong drugs. Three months after the operation, a mammogram showed shadows in her other breast, which was interpreted as cancer cells, and Mala underwent another mastectomy. A biopsy came back negative for malignant cancer – a mistake may have been made but it was too late for Mala.
Later, a liver test and a bone scan showed changes and secondaries were suspected. However, when Mala took the same reports to the United Kingdom, doctors dismissed the bone scan as not secondaries but a by-product of the mastectomies she underwent and said her liver damage was drug related and not malignant cancer.
Now, Mala has stopped all treatment and gets on with her life. But she advocates strong awareness and positive action – which she feels can help women avoid what she went through.
“Cancer meant death to us then. In my situation, my history led to what I feel was an over reaction in the treatment that was prescribed by doctors and endorsed by my family. I underwent radical surgery, which I feel was not needed -- I could have retained my breasts and monitored the lumps instead. As a patient, recently diagnosed as cancer, I couldn’t stand up to the pressure – I didn’t know what I could do and it was very hard to resist. From the diagnosis to the first mastectomy was about two weeks and I just didn’t have time to think about things. Everyone was overwhelmed.”
Mala says that she didn’t know what her options were and if she had more awareness of breast cancer and treatment, she could have challenged her doctors. Information at the right time can help the patient in deciding on treatment and on coping with the disease and side effects of treatment. Her husband feels the same and says, that even if Mala was too over-whelmed, he would have demanded a more informed treatment, had he known what could have been done.
“We were also very fearful – we had seen what had happened to our mothers and what they went through. Waiting for the reports were the worst part of the experience,” they said.
As a result of her experience and surgery, Mala has stiffness in her shoulders and hands. She gets depressed, especially when she had to wear prostheses. “Sometimes when I look in the mirror I cry – but I also joke about it. I always have a nagging fear that there could be secondaries – if I have a pain anywhere, my fear returns. My husband jokes that if I never had a primary how could I have a secondary?”
I am grateful that I have had an extremely loving and supportive husband and family and our church and church group, said Mala. “Having these people is a form of counselling. It’s so important to have this support, or I don’t know how I could have carried on.”
Mala says that there is a stigma – she knows many people who hide the fact that there is cancer diagnosed, which can be most difficult for the patient. Many people leave it too late to go to a doctor. Some women, though educated even, are shy to acknowledge gynaecological or breast cancers. It’s a difficult subject for people to acknowledge or come out with.
Mala had a friend who had found a lump and did nothing about it until Mala took her to her doctor. Her doctor’s first response was, “Why did you leave it so late?”
“Thankfully my immediate family are extremely supportive and very open about it,” said Mala. “They refer to my experiences and have no problem talking about it. Neither do I – I feel that by doing so, I can make people more aware about what can happen and what you should be aware of. Most important is for a woman to be aware and have regular check-ups.
posted by Mithuruwela Cancer Support Network @ 12:05 PM
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